New Year's Resolutions
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New Year's Resolutions
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Fall for any of following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts.
Get up straight away when wake up m mornings.
Have crushes on men, but instead form relationships based on mature assessment of character.
Sulk about having no boyfriend, but dev
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elop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend.
Behave sluttishly around the house, but instead imagine others are watching.
Go to gym three times a week not merely to buy sandwich. Put photographs in photograph albums.
Spend more than earn.
Learn to programmhttp://www.99lib.nete video.
Reduce circumference of thighs by 3 inches (i.e. 1? inches each), using anti-cellulite diet.
I WILL Stop smoking.
Be more assertive.
Get upset over men, but instead be poised and cool ice-queen.
Make up compilation mood tapes so can have tapes ready with all favourite romantic/dancing/rousing/feminist etc, tracks assembled instead of turning into drin九九藏书k-sodden DJ-style person with tapes scattered all over floor.
Be kinder and help others more.
Obsess about Daniel Cleaver as pathetic to have a crush on boss in manner of Miss Moneypenny or similar.
Drink no more than fourteen alcohol units a week.
Save up money in form of savings. Poss start pension-also.
Form functional relationship with responsible adult.
Be more confide99lib•netnt.
Bitch about anyone behind their backs, but be positive about everyone.
Give proportion of earnings to charity.
Purge flat of all extraneous matter Give all clothes which have not worn for two years or more to homeless.
Waste money on: pasta-makers, ice-cream machines or other culinary devices which will never use; books by unreadable literary authors to put impressively on s九九藏书helves; exotic underwear, since pointless as have no boyfriend.
Allow in-tray to rage out of control.
Get annoyed with Mum, Una Alconbury or Perpetua.
Improve career and find new job with potential.
Make better use of time.
I WILL NOT Drink more than fourteen alcohol units a week.
Not go out every night but stay in and read books and listen to classical music.
Smoke.
Eat more pulses.
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