BOB
(picks up another)
IKE (contd)
(seeing the
You wont believe what Im looking at,
Here, Maggie. I think this makes the
Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom figures. Maggie
IKE (contd)
IKE
MAGGIE
Everest.
Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I
Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds.
Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays.
Betty Trout. Five dollars.
IKE
IKE
MAGGIE
Fisher. A videotape of all three train
Ahh.
MAGGIE
Not this one. This ones on me.
(exasperated)
used this one before... Brian. But I
Fun? Fun isnt the word.
Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order. Ike moves to the other
My girl likes to brag about me.
But hes got the Bobsters eyes.
(false modesty)
scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me!
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC)
Mrs. Trout beams. Maggie understands his answer a little better.
MRS. TROUT is behind the counter helping Maggie with a selection
screen. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding."
goes off on dirt bike. The tape fast-forwards to the last of
IKE (contd)
MAGGIE
Well go with total traditional.
So Ive come to see it as a bonus,
INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - CONTINUOUS
our honeymoon.
youre throwing --
Ike is highly amused.
IKE
This is good, Dad, dont leave anything
respect. Nobody whos been up Everest is a total clowwｗ.9９lｉｂ.netwn.
IKE
We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies
(sharply)
BOB
Oh, Betty. I take it youre going to
cant wait to show it to you.
doing it again.
Maggie steps out onto the back porch. Shes beautiful in a
(to Mrs. Trout)
galloping off with the bride. Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an
IKE
body combining for success. You could
sitting on a bench.
Follow me around everywhere I go?
Ahh...
Is that what youre going to do now?
newspaper. Ike is stunned as she walks off. He turns to a MAN
MAGGIE
IKE
Help me! Yup! Thats her all right.
copies him.
MRS. TROUT
heads for the door.
football team. And hes climbed
-- The luau for Maggie.
Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ikes bag containing two coffees.
As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides
We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church.
Now we see Maggie come down the aisle, then walk past the altar.
eye on the ball.
wearing a crown of flowers. The Maid Marian look. Ike slows the
The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter
be making the wedding cake and they say
approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress,
IKE
say or you can quote me, Im a glass
IKE
CLOSE ON a group of plastic grooms and brides on a counter top.
a dirt bike. She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides
away. During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gil九九藏书l Chavez". Maggie
(to Fisher; into phone)
Angels-types, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band
her soul seems to shine through in tat single frame. As Ike
MAGGIE
No.
ON TV: IT SAYS, "GEORGE SWILLING WEDDING".
(cynical delight)
Im the towns unofficial fitness
Maggie cringes at the sound of Ikes voice.
Ike raises his eyebrows in question. Bob explains.
(sometimes slowing down).
Maggie has kicked it in the shins. It rears and bolts,
looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous. She dashes out. Mrs.
Mrs. Trout)
MRS. TROUT
MAGGIE
and pay for, so many weddings.
Establishing. High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale. Ike
his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing on the TV
Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits back on the couch, puts on
INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT
Gill is waiting on the platform with a rock combo playing
Two flower girls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the
He leaves.
then dives into the crowd. They watch her and body surf her
WALTER
on purpose. And I have no intention of
wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells
(interrupting)
then sits back down to watch.
MAGGIE
bride from Ike coldly.
Then, Ike comes up behind her as she discards another groom.
This ones very popular, but oh, youve
with two Sherpas and a yak.
miniature bride)
Maggie steps over, carrying her bri九九藏书网de and groom figure choices.
THE TV - CLOSE
MRS. TROUT
of grooms for her wedding cake. The groom figures are spread out
Grateful Dead-type music. He makes an introductory speech.
ON IKESTV
Bobs the head of the P.E. department
out.
other bag)
As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies!
Sure.
Really?
IKE
trampoline. We can see her tattoo. She jumps on the trampoline,
stares at her, the smirk fades from his face. He just looks at
Walter reacts.
some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets.
does, a middle-aged Black WOMAN walks by and whacks him with a
"Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button
He starts to leave with his bag. Mrs. Trout stops him.
stares closely. The groom is George from the bar.
Did you see that?
MRS. TROUT
Your two cinnamon rolls.
How romantic.
Hes not a nice person.
Maggies fiascoes.
Ike turns and goes to her.
To Maggies satisfaction, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging
cinnamon rolls)
MAGGIE
A pre-wedding luau?
Kamikaze!
MAGGIE
MAGGIE
area, MUSICIANS plays. Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie
wrecks.
Im taking her trekking on Annapurna on
We think so.
No, hes no good. Too blond.
image of Maggie, hair blowing. Although she is panic-stricken,
exits a neighboring shop and walks down the block. He pauses in
IKE
Lets see... Excuse me, isnt that cute?
(handing him the
(boasting)
CUT TO:
Thwww.99lib.netank you. Thank you so much.
She gets to him. Ike gets a restless look on his face. He
Everest. Is that right?
Actually, I would love to come.
MAGGIE
IKE
You must be that Mr. Graham fellow.
Emma and I were only blessed with one
CUT TO:
(sticking it to Ike)
MRS. TROUT
like the white dinner jacket.
groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar.
WALTER (contd)
EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE NEXT DAY
Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back.
Despite what you think, I dont do it
she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and
(all smiles for
BOB (contd)
hippie-type wedding ensemble. She walks with her father to a
MRS. TROUT
Bye, Betty. Thanks.
ON TV:
IKE
child, not for lacking of trying.
at the high school. And he coaches the
He now sees the third wedding. Its outdoors, in a tree lined
stop by.
The tape fast-forwards to the next wedding. Now Ike is looking
Sports psychology. It was my major in
trainer. Big advocate of the mind and
help it.
Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed
If youre still in town, you should
IKE
She starts picking lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff.
at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says,
college.
Yes, I am. And who are you?
what is that wonderful smell?
(picking up a
Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your
Thats fair.
Yes. My husband and I love luaus.
Twice...
Fisher and Ellie are exercising. Fisher is on a cycle machine.
Could I have two coffees, please? And
(as he pays)
first wedding. She drags the train boy up the second aisle as
Too dark.
Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up.
Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing. Maggie takes the
tape.
IKE
IKE
BOB
No -- the Bobsters eyes are closer set.
platform against the back fence.
(to Mrs. Trout)
He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in
best you.
Without oxygen...
Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing.
IKE
over their heads to the back fence.
Itll be fun.
half full king of guy.
on the counter. All sizes and colors, some attached to brides,
CUT TO:
MRS. TROUT
Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and
MRS. TROUT
MAGGIE
looking cinnamon rolls.
BOB (contd)
INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
No, Im sure he doesnt.
really, that weve been able to plan,
MRS. TROUT
CUT TO:
(impressed)
the head and run away screaming.
side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure.
to go. She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on
front of the bakery to take a look at Maggies truck. As he
Ill have two of those delicious
SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this
(taps her service bell)
She ignores him and continues her search.
her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes. He cant
IKE